Rallying for Rahul

Dear Reader,
This was written about two years back, in 2006. So, it is out of date. But the humour-content is there. At the request of my friends who have read it have asked me to put ot on my blog. Hence "Rallying for Rahul"

Rallying for Rahul

(This is a fictional, imaginary composition. Any apparent similarity with any person either living, dead or otherwise is purely coincidental and is a figment of the reader’s imagination)

“Hello, Rahul?”
“Yes. Who’s calling?”
“This is Rahul.”
“Rahul? Which Rahul?”
“Rahul Bajaj”.
“Hi Rahul. How are you? How’s business?”
“Everything’s fine thanks. But there’s a problem here in Kolkata. Rahul has been detained by the police for driving through a “No Entry” sign.
“Which Rahul?”
“Rahul Dravid. And there’s a match tomorrow at the Eden Gardens.”
“Hey that’s bad. But why call me?”
“Your must ring up the police and tell them to release him.”
“But that’s Dalmiya’s job. He can call his police friend … y’know... what’s his name … anyway you know the guy I mean”.
“The Police won’t listen to him. Things are not smooth between Dalmiya and the Police. Some ruckus with CAB elections I think.”
“Ok. But why me?”
“You are Rahul Gandhi. Those guys are sure to listen to you.”
“Well, I am a little tied up with the Rahul’s wedding here.”
“Which Rahul?”
“Rahul Mahajan. Look I have a better idea. Why don’t you call Rahul and tell him to talk to the police. He is a Bengali and the police are sure to understand him better.”
“Which Rahul?”
“Rahul Bose.”
“I already tried him. He is shooting with Rahul and can’t be contacted.
“Which Rahul?”
“Rahul Khanna.”
“I thought Rahul Khanna was doing the MTV stuff.”
“No. that’s Rahul Chinappa.”
“I think you mean Nikhil Chinappa.”
“Hey Rahul, forget Nikhil Khanna and Nikhil Chinappa. This is about Rahul.”
“Which Rahul are you talking about now?”
“Rahul DRAVID. And getting him out. You have to do something.”
“OK. Which police station?”
“Ultadanga.”
“Ulta – as in Ulta Pulta?”
“Yes. And danga.”
“Tanga – the horse-drawn cart?”
“No, no. DANGA. D A N G A… D for Data... A for…”
“Yes, Yes…T for Tata.”
“No, No. It’s D … hmm … D as in Delhi.”
“Delhi? But you said it was in Kolkata.”
“Yes, Yes. Ultadanga is in Kolkata.”
“But you said ‘Delhi’. This is very confusing.”
“OK. Forget Delhi. D... as in Daltonganj.”
“As in Paltanganj?”
“No... D as in Dubai.”
“Oho. So it’s a D. Why didn’t you say that earlier? So, it is Danga instead of Tanga?”
“Right. You ring them up and tell them to release Rahul immediately.”
“Which Rahul?”
“I have already told you. It is Rahul Dravid.”
“Oh, yes, yes. Look I’ll do even better. I’ll tell mom to ring up the Governor. But tell me, is Rahul an S.C., S.T. or O.B.C.?”
“…………………